Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Searching for Silence


If you are a writer wannabe and have been struggling to get past that 'hey, I'm never going to get this #!!*# published", just take a look at the Northern Colorado Writer's website. You will find help for sure but more than that you will find an example of how one person with a good idea, persistence and energy can make a difference and change lives. And it just might make you into a writer who is having the time of her life. I happened to me. Kerrie Flanagan's vision that she wanted to create a way to encourage and support writers of all genre's and levels on their journey to writing success has been helping almost 200 writers in the two years since she began to develop her vision.

And like they say in horse circles, she was able to get me on the bit! In order to convince a 1,000 lb animal that wants nothing more at the moment than to graze in a nice green pasture, or to kick up her heels with her friends, to accept a saddle and bridle and listen, of all things ,to someone else's idea of what she needs to do today, is a struggle. Unless you realize that deep down the horse as well as the rider (writer) want to be useful and to please, each in their own way of course.

At the beginning of November I attended the N.C.W. retreat at Sylvan Dale Ranch. While there I set a goal, or rather an intention, to get back to something I tried to do almost two years ago but gave up on. I had decided to start a blog. But I didn't get very far. I have learned it was about more than the blog, it was about being willing to be honest about who I am. I had to quit using all the other stuff that was going on in my life as an excuse to blow it off. And I had to commit. So here I go again. I had two compelling ideas and felt it would be less confusing to design two blogs. I would continue the one I started last year and then begin a new one. So I would need to write two posts on two blogs each week. As you can see, my last entry was in April and the first one ever was in January of 2008. Can I really do it? Yes, this time I will.

So what do you have to look forward to? Ideas have been waking me up really early the last few mornings. Animals and how we relate to them and how we learn from them have captured my interest. Most of those will show up in my new blog, Writing Outside the Barn. (http://www.pamelawolf.blogspot.com)i/. Sidestepping or putting on the shelf will not work anymore if I am to be honest. Reconnecting strands is what it is all about now, strands from seminary to the barn, strands that have been forgotten or broken and leave me feeling empty.

I will say that in my often fuzzy unfocused brain I have learned how important space and quiet time is in order to write. I yearn for the times when I can find the pathway into that magic place where the thoughts begin to come clear. I write to make sense of my life so I will be able to recognize myself and know what I have to say.

While at the retreat I think we all had the chance to connect to those magic moments. As we began we read these words by well known southwestern poet, Nancy Wood.

It is our quiet time.
We do not speak because the voices are within us.
It is our quiet time.
We do not walk because the earth is all within us.
It is our quiet time.
We do not dance because the music has lifted us
to a place where the spirit is.
It is our quiet time.
We rest with all of nature.

Thank you Kerrie for those nurturing moments of quiet
and the opportunity to listen to our own voices.

3 comments:

Kidlicious said...

Great job mom! I look forward to reading and getting inspired by your thoughts and entries. Keep it up!

Patricia Stoltey said...

A wonderful post,Pam. I share your admiration for Kerrie and all she does. It really is all about commitment, isn't it?

Unknown said...

Congratulations on taking that first nervous step. Keep it up.